Another bump in the road...

It's just a few pot holes... but when you've been on a bumpy ride too long, sometimes you just want off.

Tuesday was supposed to be an adventure to LA and a seat in the Nokia theater for American Idol final episode with Simon.

However-

The night before Christian tells me that his driving exam for his driving test is tomorrow.
Me: WHAT?????!!!!!!!!!!! NO it isn't Christian, it's Wednesday. 
Christian: Mother, I put it on my phone calendar, it's Tuesday.

It's been a long journey getting to this point with Christian.  His last exam was canceled because the night before the test-Lucas broke off Matthew's side view mirror playing basketball , and you sort of need that for the exam.  I had work commitments, so they couldn't use my van.

I felt like Christian needed me this day and I didn't want to be the cause of him not being able to drive to work this summer.  I also understand how nervous he was and I didn't want anything to add to the stress of the occasion.  Namely trying to find an adult to step in.

American Idol tickets don't come along every day-so, I got up at 4:30 am to leave the house at 5:15 to catch an early flight to LA. 

But- I awoke to a huge mess in my bathroom. (Currently puppy quarters at night)Tessa wasn't doing too well. She had bloody stools, and that worried me.

I had to clean up the messes, shower, gather my things for the day and make Lucas a lunch and walk and feed the dog. 

I was a bit late meeting Linda for our rendezvous spot.  She doesn't own a cell phone, so I couldn't call her to tell her I was running late because my puppy was sick and I couldn't find the new toners to change in the printer, so I could print up proof of insurance for Christian and all of the other things that challenged me this morning.  I think there was tension, and I felt so much stress I felt sick.

I just couldn't leave home, traveling so far away with so much happening at home.

It's hard being the only sheriff in town. I've lost my back up. Nicky I miss you more each day...

Sometime between leaving the outlet mall parking lot in Linda's car and arriving at PDX-we turned the car around and canceled the trip.  There were tears.

My heart was so heavy for disappointing my dear friend.  I was stuck in the proverbial hard spot.
Either way I let someone I care about down. 

But being a mother has always come first, and always will.  I know there are people that don't feel that same strong pull or bond with their children, who encourage independence and wouldn't have worried or cared.  But I have never been that person.  My family is my life, and nothing else matters to me.

I had a full, tiring day.
As it turned out-Lucas was sick again with that weird stomach pain, nausea syndrome.  So he was home from school.
The puppy is still not out of the woods, we're waiting for results back from the vet tests.
I took Christian to DMV only to find out that I WAS RIGHT!  His appt. was scheduled for the following day.  Weirdly though- I like to believe it's a God thing- there was a cancellation for the very time we arrived.  So Christian got his test.

I still have not slept passed 4:30 AM since last Friday.

e x h a u s t e d

So, just a few bumps in the road-but Christian has his license!

Congratulations Christian. 
You had a challenge with your left eye blindness that threw a curve ball into the driving issue, but you faced it and I am proud of you- please drive safe.

I hope and pray our puppy is not sick and that Lucas gets well too.

I hope Linda finds some way to understand that I did not intentionally wait until the last minute to
change plans
and
that life sometimes gets in the way of the best laid plans.

All this and I still don't have a kitchen and my window installer no showed on me.

I can't wait to sleep on Saturday- I hope someone takes puppy duty for me!

Love you!

XOXO,
Kimberley

Tessa's Home

Here she is! 

 We picked her up at 11:30 this morning.  American Airlines did a great job of taking care of her.  I think it's only approriate that she has frequent flier miles already!

She is so sweet and cuddly. We've been taking turns holding her all day and I was quickly reminded how much puppies are like babies-time consuming!

Lucas is working very hard to house train her and it's challenging in the pouring rain.  But the guy was incredible patiently standing outside in the rain with her.  She is going to get along fine here because she didn't seem to mind at all, rolling and playing in the wet grass. 

I'm not sure how smart she is, but hey she doesn't have to be smart- she's blonde and beautiful.

XOXO, k

Arrivals

We are grateful for a few things this week.  First and foremost, our love button Tessa,  is coming Friday sometime. We will pick her up at PDX together.  Lucas is counting the minutes until she arrives.

Another unexpected arrival this week- WINDOWS! 
Oh. My. Gosh. 
I did not think I would ever be excited over windows.  But their early arrival is helping the kitchen process so much!
That means that as soon as it can be scheduled, they can be installed after the electrician moves the wiring and outlets tomorrow night.  That also means that the dry wall can be installed next week early and the walls painted shortly after.  That leaves everything ready for the cabinets.  Which should be done about June 5th.
I need my sink which is still in China being shipped with the range hood.

I chose my counters and I have selected white carrara marble. 

I made a fun visit to Pental  A granite/stone distributor here in the NW. It is a huge warehouse for stone and tile.  I had fun looking at all of the beautiful stone.  And yet, I kept coming back to the marble section.  I have heard the horror stories about how it is too porous and everything stains.  But new sealers are incredible these days.  So... They gave me a sample of honed marble, treated it with a sealer and said-" Try and stain it".  I tried and everything beaded up and wiped off with a towel.  I gave it coffee, salad dressing, mustard, strawberries and blueberries.  Nothing stuck!
So there myth busters!  I have always loved marble and I am so happy. 

After cabinets arrive, we will have floors refinished and base board and light fixtures installed.
I think about 4 weeks from now, I will have a lovely, complete kitchen.

I'm attaching some photos- one of which is my range hood.  It is unfinished, but still so awesome!

We have so much to be thankful for and always it is tempered with our broken hearts over losing Nick.
It would only be better if he were here.

XOXO,
Kimberley

PS: Happy 20th anniversary to my best friends Hudson and Kevin!  I hope you have 100 more!

Happy Mother's Day to me

Meet Tessa.  We bought her today from an online breeder. 

Let's see now, the  East Coast O'Connell's made it three months- it's been exactly two for us between dogs.  We are obviously the weaker of the clan.

No one can ever replace my greatest dog ever-Dixie- but we miss her and we miss having a dog to cuddle with.

I have searched for weeks for another golden. They are really hard to come by around here.  You have to fill out reams of paper work and jump through ridiculous hoops.  Rescue shelters want to be co-owners- so it's sort of an open adoption.  One breeder won't even let you choose your own dog!  Potential buyers come and pow-wow with all of the other people who want a puppy then you all come back another day when the litter of puppies are ready to go home. At that time, the breeder chooses your dog for you. 
That is just stupid. 

So, I had to pay 1,000 times more than my .18 cent raise can afford- but LOOK AT THAT FACE!  I love her!

She's coming to my house next week, and we are excited to meet her and smell her lovely puppy breath.


XOXO,
Kimberley

Let the madness begin...

Well, I can't find the cord to upload photos to my computer or else you would be looking at what used to be my kitchen.  Work began last Thursday.  My awesome brother tore out the cabinets with the help of Christian and his favorite friend Timmo.  There are big holes in the wall board where new windows are going next to the range hood.  The wall between the dining room and kitchen is gone.  A half wall is going in with double sided glass cabinets above.  I am moving the refrigerator to the area that used to be pantry.

It all started with the non functioning appliances.  I always wanted a cabinet front on the dishwasher, (hate stainless and what else is there if not a cabinet front?)
so I couldn't purchase a new dishwasher without new cabinets.
Right?
It makes perfect sense to me.

It has been a very long 2 month process getting to this point, making all the decisions.  But I have had the good fortune of working with Don vonAhlfeld at Hayes Custom cabinets and it's been much easier with his help.  His brother Paul is doing the wall prep, framing, moving of duct work and pipes, etc... and I am so grateful!

The cabinet building begins today!  In the next two weeks I will have floors refinished and I will paint my walls. 

I have ordered a copper range hood and copper farm house sink from China at a smokin' deal. (Thanks again to brother Kenny).

Counter selection was made and then 'un-made' due to extreme budget considerations.
So I have got to get that figured out this week.

My appliances have been ordered and will arrive about the same time as the cabinets.
 

It's all coming together.

Finally. 

I will say it has been an emotional roller coaster.  Well, life in general has been up and down and mostly down, as you know for a year.  I wouldn't have chosen to undertake this project at this time but it's been a good distraction for the most part.  Something to think about when I am awake at 3AM...
Besides the fact that there isn't a dent in the pillow beside me.

Prepping for the kitchen tear down, I cleaned out all of the cabinets and found so many hidden treasures.
In an upper cabinet over the refrigerator I found 2 little avon ceramic jars with lids on them.  Inside one I found the sequins from my hand made bridal veil and the other held shells from the beach in Cabo from my honeymoon.  Well you know that started the water works...

I have been searching for the past few months for a letter from Nick.  I just kept hoping that he left me something... a good bye letter, some instructions, something that said what he wanted me to do with the rest of my life without him in it...
nothing.
But I did come upon a drawer full of cards.
Valentines Day
Anniversary
Birthday
Filled with loving thoughts and caring words
and I realized this was my message from Nick
and it's enough.

He loved me and I will always love him

Matthew and I talked about how weird it is to have the heart of our home look so different.  We have so many memories in that kitchen.

It surprised me how sad I feel about ripping it out.

It's kind of appropriate given our hearts have been done the same.

It's a new era for us, our family and our home...

Sometimes we don't have a choice.

Appliances don't last forever and neither do we....