It's just a few pot holes... but when you've been on a bumpy ride too long, sometimes you just want off.
Tuesday was supposed to be an adventure to LA and a seat in the Nokia theater for American Idol final episode with Simon.
However-
The night before Christian tells me that his driving exam for his driving test is tomorrow.
Me: WHAT?????!!!!!!!!!!! NO it isn't Christian, it's Wednesday.
Christian: Mother, I put it on my phone calendar, it's Tuesday.
It's been a long journey getting to this point with Christian. His last exam was canceled because the night before the test-Lucas broke off Matthew's side view mirror playing basketball , and you sort of need that for the exam. I had work commitments, so they couldn't use my van.
I felt like Christian needed me this day and I didn't want to be the cause of him not being able to drive to work this summer. I also understand how nervous he was and I didn't want anything to add to the stress of the occasion. Namely trying to find an adult to step in.
American Idol tickets don't come along every day-so, I got up at 4:30 am to leave the house at 5:15 to catch an early flight to LA.
But- I awoke to a huge mess in my bathroom. (Currently puppy quarters at night)Tessa wasn't doing too well. She had bloody stools, and that worried me.
I had to clean up the messes, shower, gather my things for the day and make Lucas a lunch and walk and feed the dog.
I was a bit late meeting Linda for our rendezvous spot. She doesn't own a cell phone, so I couldn't call her to tell her I was running late because my puppy was sick and I couldn't find the new toners to change in the printer, so I could print up proof of insurance for Christian and all of the other things that challenged me this morning. I think there was tension, and I felt so much stress I felt sick.
I just couldn't leave home, traveling so far away with so much happening at home.
It's hard being the only sheriff in town. I've lost my back up. Nicky I miss you more each day...
Sometime between leaving the outlet mall parking lot in Linda's car and arriving at PDX-we turned the car around and canceled the trip. There were tears.
My heart was so heavy for disappointing my dear friend. I was stuck in the proverbial hard spot.
Either way I let someone I care about down.
But being a mother has always come first, and always will. I know there are people that don't feel that same strong pull or bond with their children, who encourage independence and wouldn't have worried or cared. But I have never been that person. My family is my life, and nothing else matters to me.
I had a full, tiring day.
As it turned out-Lucas was sick again with that weird stomach pain, nausea syndrome. So he was home from school.
The puppy is still not out of the woods, we're waiting for results back from the vet tests.
I took Christian to DMV only to find out that I WAS RIGHT! His appt. was scheduled for the following day. Weirdly though- I like to believe it's a God thing- there was a cancellation for the very time we arrived. So Christian got his test.
I still have not slept passed 4:30 AM since last Friday.
e x h a u s t e d
So, just a few bumps in the road-but Christian has his license!
Congratulations Christian.
You had a challenge with your left eye blindness that threw a curve ball into the driving issue, but you faced it and I am proud of you- please drive safe.
I hope and pray our puppy is not sick and that Lucas gets well too.
I hope Linda finds some way to understand that I did not intentionally wait until the last minute to
change plans
and
that life sometimes gets in the way of the best laid plans.
All this and I still don't have a kitchen and my window installer no showed on me.
I can't wait to sleep on Saturday- I hope someone takes puppy duty for me!
Love you!
XOXO,
Kimberley
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