I have four brothers, all of whom are older than I. Much older even. I grew up with 2 of them- Kenny and Miles. Miles died 10/17/2006. He was found lifeless, hunched over beside his bed yesterday afternoon, by our sister Denice. Denice and Miles were born a year a part (exactly) and were almost like twins in their togetherness.

(Pictured here together )

My memories of Miles are few- but they are fond. Growing up in a single parent household, our Mother worked many hours every day and many times on week-ends too. We didn't have money for anything other than essentials. Baby sitters and day care were not considered essential. So, we 5 siblings cared for each other. My brother Kenny for Miles, and although she was younger- my sister Denice for Miles too. I took care of my younger sister Laura. Miles was the brother that always had time for me.

My favorite memory is of him taking me for a ride on his bike. We lived at 1922 NE Terry St. at the time. (We moved 5 times in my life) I was 6, he was 12. He said, 'you wanna go to Freddie's with me? Hop on the bike'! 42 years later- I still recall this event as though it were yesterday. I was over joyed to be included in my big brother's plans and I loved riding bikes. So, off we went the 5 blocks across 2 very busy streets to Fred Meyer's. We would spend hours there reading the comic books and maybe if we were lucky and had some change- we would buy a piece of candy. Shortly after this summer, when I was 6 and Miles 12, he went to live with his dad in Lewiston, ID. I remember missing him so much, and crying in my bed at night for him to come home. I remember soaking my pillow so much with my salty tears, I had to turn it over to the 'dry' side to sleep. I never again got to spend much time with him as he was always living somewhere else.

My other fond memory is from just a few years ago- I needed help to bring in the hay from the field and stack it in the barn. It is much too big of a job for one small person and when Miles heard I was attempting it alone-he came and saved the day helping to toss 5 ton of hay on a very hot, humid August day.

Whenever I really needed someone -he was there.

As much as he could be.

Miles spent most of his life behind bars. He was one who always seemed to find trouble. Stealing cars, wacky lottery ticket schemes, anything to support himself. As he didn't seem to be able to maintain a job. He was lacking coping skills and didn't have the ability to rationalise very well. He also seemed to suffer from depression in his later years, and unfortunately found drugs to be a way of self medicating that depression. He was the kind of guy you might look at and judge harshly given his record and history. But he was so much more than the world saw.
More on that later....